


You were there alone

by TG_Lorelaine_Borealis



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Death, F/M, M/M, Mentions of Johnkat, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-27
Updated: 2013-09-27
Packaged: 2017-12-27 18:23:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/982151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TG_Lorelaine_Borealis/pseuds/TG_Lorelaine_Borealis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are Lorelaine Borealis and you are a Mage of Space... and you are happy that it finally ended but it took lives of people you would have died for... you know what i mean, yes, that game... that mindfucking game, the one you wanted to play so much for your birthday, many months ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You were there alone

**Author's Note:**

> I needed to write this, I can't sleep TT and well I kind of liked it so here you have it. It's sadstuck so... you've been warned.

You were there alone. 

The corpses of your dead friends lie in front of you and you start hearing the "tic-toc". The same sound that killed them all. The sound that was supposed to end your game too.

With each tic it moved its right feet, with each toc it moved its left one, you counted its steps: 13 to get to arm's length, 13 to get its head cut by your hand. 13 seconds from now it will be really over for one of both, the game will end. 13 deaths you saw, 5 from dear friends, 8 from relatives who's corpses you will never find and many more that you never saw. You prepare the knives, they have never failed you, they will not now, and they don't. You throw them, one first and then the other. You wait. The first one it dodges, the second goes right through its throat. Dead weight it is now, bleeding red candy blood, the one you saw so many times in its hands. You laugh, you don't know the reason, but reason has never been included in your DNA so you've never worried. You laugh stronger and stronger only to find that you are actually happy. You breath, satisfied. It's over for the bad-killer, it's still game on for the good-killer.

You turn around and captchalogue their bodies. They have taught you that you have to move on, they'd tell you to move, open the door to the new universe and get the hell out of here. And of course you were going to do so, but if they thought you were going to walk outside alone they were very wrong. You captchalogue them and step ahead to the door. You grab the knob and stop a minute to hear the cries of the horrorterrors. They cry out your name, and the promise you made them. You turn around to shush their worries. You are a woman that keeps her word. They have been alone way too long... and this universe will receive them too, but as what they were before turning to monsters... as the players they once were. Without memories and without powers as they have agreed. 

You open the door and the world around you turns white. You finally fell the sun in your skin. You are now surrounded by trees and you know exactly where you are. You walk a little more uphill and find yourself with your house. White walls and red roof. A enormous tree outside meets you with the movements of it's leaves in the wind and you know you are home. You free all you items and in between them the bodies of your friends. You use your space powers to transform them into mater and leave them to float in this universe until they reborn, and you all meet someday. You know, it's sad as hell. You knew it would be like this, you are not a time player to rewind their times until they were alive, you are not a life player to bring them back, you were not strong enough to make a world where you never played the game... you could not face them right now. Any of the ones who died protecting you while you made the frog. You are alive and they are dead, and it's not fair. But the game is not about fairness. The world is not about fairness, it's cruel and hard, and you have to man up and keep on living. 

You recaptchalogue all the things left on the floor. Photos and stuff from your friend will keep you alive and sane, for now at least. You hope you can mix in this world. You hope so many things. You enter your house. It's empty. You had already anticipated that. The walls are empty, everything ready to welcome the six gods. Only one got there. But you all made it, so they are in here, and you will protect this house as you would protect them. You start organizing the things: photos here, food there, your movies at the side of the TV. Chis's videogames in boxes to protect them from the dust. Caroline's books on what was supposed to be her room. Manu's school yearbooks on his. Sis's sketches and mangas on her room, her clothes thrown on the floor as she would like them. Alex's swords and infinite applejuice on Caroline's room. You think they would've shared a room, they were matespirits after all; and that way you had two reasons to visit that room: books and juice. Your room for last, a bed with comfty, winter blankets, perfect for a coldfeet lady like you. Also the grey notebook on the blue desk you made, because it remembered you of your parents. When all was set you wondered what to do next. What would you do for a living was clear: you would fix things in the shop that Manu and Chris had wanted to use. Old artefacts, computers, everything. At the bottom you wanted to fix everything that could go wrong in the world and what would be best than to start with little things, besides that way you wouldn't be so lonely. 

You catched yourself staring at a photo in school, one day on lunchtime. The best time of your life, the best friends you could ask for. Your breathing changes and you realize you are crying. Memories flow and you are now on the floor curled up in a ball and wishing it was all a dream. You know you shouldn't run, but you cannot help feeling miserable. You are wearing your dad's yellow shoes, your other dad's black shirt, Chris made you that haircut, Manu had made you that necklace, Sis had fixed those jeans, Alex had gave you his cape when you were cold and Caroline had gave you a red ruby with the shape of a heart that she'd found on her land. You were a mess up mix of people, as you've always been. But you were mostly a mess. You could not longer contain the screams, the cries, the feeling of loneliness and emptiness growing with each passing minute. the sun was hiding and you were scared. Scared of never seeing them again, scared of giving up, scared of living. You stoped crying. You were still a ball in the floor holding on to the school-time photo. You wanted to move on, but right now you decided that it was already a victory to steady your breathing, to stand up, go to your room and cry yourself to sleep in your bed. You wished that tomorrow would be better.

You wished for tomorrow, because today you were there alone.


End file.
